DIARY OF A SINGLE MOM: LOVE, DATING & RELATIONSHIP

by - 09 February

It's been a while since I updated this blog series of mine. If you weren't able to read my first two installments, you can read it here and here. First let me just say thank you to those wonderful people who have read my first two installments of this blog series and left such wonderful and positive comments about being a single mom. Big thank you guys!

So, my sassy daughter is already three years old now. She really is a star of the family, especially to her grandparents, to my mom and dad. Also to my sisters and brothers, they really love how my daughter had turn-out to be such bubbly and sassy. She sings, dance and sometimes even do a little drama which amazes me all the time. And hey, she's the sweetest daughter! Imagine waking up in the morning, with a smiling angelic face kissing you and greeting you "good morning mom!". That's how I live everyday. Sweet life isn't it? All the stress and headaches from working really hard will always be swept away from her simple hugs and kisses and random "I love you mom". I'm just really blessed for having such wonderful blessing and I can't thank God enough for this gift.

My daughter's love gives me the strength to strive harder. She made my heart whole again after so many heartbreaks and bruises from my past relationships. She's the reason why I smile everyday but sometimes no matter how we look at things the positive way there are still moments that will bring pain in your heart. I'd like to tell you first those moments when my daughter cried really hard when her cousin wouldn't let her sit on the lap of her dad. I was working when it happened, my sister just sent me this video that she was crying and what broke my heart was when she said "I want to buy a daddy! I want to buy a daddy!". My sister was laughing on the background because my daughter kept on repeating those words while crying. I did smile but I was hurting deep within, I don't know how to tell her that it is something that can't be bought without hurting her. That incident really brought tears and to be honest, I was really hoping that I'd be able to find someone who can be a dad to her.

I attempted online dating, funny is that I even found her dad online as well. After having no contact, no email, no facebook, no instagram, but to my surprise he was there. For the first time, I had mixed emotions when he messaged me. I wasn't hoping for anything between the two of us but I was hoping he can be a father to my daughter this time. It was a month before my daughter's second birthday. It was last year, we were able to exchanged messages and he even asked for my daughter's photos. I have given him the chance to meet my daughter and I was teary eyed when he carried her. My daughter smiled and even called him daddy. They played and even bought her an expensive toy. It was a happy moment but it was like a dream, because it was a one time moment. I tried contacting him after but he said he's busy with few things and he'll try to find some time. He actually told me that he's not ready for the obligation but he's happy to finally meet her. And so, I stopped contacting him. Maybe God's plan was just to let her meet her dad one time. My daughter loves her dad even without his presence because I don't want her to have that hatred on her heart. I just want her to be happy always, and I know that she will understand soon, because she's a smart baby. Well, her dad is still single but has a lot of girls, that's why he isn't man enough to be a father to our baby. Still, I ain't mad at him, I'm still happy he gave me a beautiful baby. What's important is that, I have my baby with me. And so, life goes on..




I dated few, getting to know and stuff but it's different now. I can't just simply take a risk and had relationship with someone because I always consider my daughter. That's why, I'm always loud and proud that I'm a single mom, posted it even on the about page of my online dating site profile. Honesty is important for me and I wanted to be love and accepted by who and what I am. There are a lot of people online, around the globe that I get to chat for a while, at first it was okay, but I get tired of it eventually. Online dating isn't working for me. And so, I lifted everything up to God.



And then, love comes unexpectedly. In the most unexpected manner. I never really thought that love will hit me without a warning. I have known this person for a long time already and never did expect that I will fall in love, but it happen. If you'll ask me if I'm happy YES. What's important for me now is that me and my daughter is being love by someone. I'll just leave everything to God. It's our 5th Monthsary now and so far, I love how our relationship had grown.

Again, I am sharing this story because I wanted to inspire other people, especially to all the wonderful women out there. To always be positive even if there are a lot of painful things that come in your way because God has a plan for each and everyone of us. If you've been heart broken always remember that God will give you a new heart if you'll learn how to forgive.
source: La Beaute
Before I will end this post, I am leaving you this beautiful quote I found from a very wonderful blogger, Elle of La Beaute, who's been an inspiration to a lot of women and If you wanted to share your personal stories please do check her out! :)
"The only time you should ever look back, is to see how far you’ve come"

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